crazy....I'm so crazy for you

Yes, it's a Patsy Cline song, but it's also the subject of the day. The women in my family have a history of bleeds in the brain. My mother has had a major brain anurysm, and survived! That's the Irish stubbornness for you. What is left, is my mother, but a slightly varied version of her. There are some things that are not connecting in there. The other day she kept showing me a "cow" in the woods behind our house. Not only did I not see the cow, but she insisted it had been there all day and was still there. When I told her there was a huge tree stump where she pointing she got mad. So, not only does she say silly things, but then insists that they are true. Yesterday there really were 8 buzzards in the front yard, but she didn't see them.

So what is it like, living with the elderly? It is a curse, but also a blessing. They have seen and experienced things that we haven't gotten to yet. But everyone treats these wise denizens like children, because they get so excited over eating ice cream for lunch, and shoving the fact in your face that you can't tell them what to do. When we tell our stories to others, the reaction is "poor grandma, mom, etc". We laugh, but no one sees the humor in it unless they've been there.

Why does our society throw our parents away? We put them in nursing homes or assisted living, appeasing our guilt by saying it's the best thing for them. I think God set up families to care for each other until the end. Yes, it drives us crazy, but it also builds perseverance and character in us. We do learn from all this, but it is lessons we'd rather avoid.

When my grandmother lived with us, my parents had "cocktails" every night. At least 2 or 3. Now my mother tattles to my sister that I drink wine every night and fall asleep on the couch (which by the way is not true). Yet she offers to buy me wine because I think she somewhat remembers the past. My husband and I talk about not drinking anymore, then one trip to the grocery store with Mom and I'm looking for the wine. Most of all, I don't like seeing her like this. I want my mommy back.

I tell my kids to shoot me now. They kid about buying guns, but they don't realize how serious I am. I don't believe in euthanasia, but I certainly understand why people do. So instead we drink, to get through the unpleasantness of growing old, knowing what's waiting for us when we do.