The Twilight Zone

Well, I was just reading some past posts and yes, it's gingerale time again. Been home sick all week. This virus is kicking my butt. Started last Friday afternoon and today (Friday) I'm maybe getting over it. Been in the twilight zone most of the week. You know that place where you are when you're not quite in touch with reality? When you are sick and your body feels weird, am I the only one who experiences this? Anyway, I was trying to get to sleep the other night. After 3-5 hour naps every day this was harder than it sounds. All these thoughts were going through my head, thoughts about everyone and everything all at once. I was beginning to think my life was flashing before my eyes. It was very strange, made me remember things I hadn't thought of in years. Then I started thinking, what is the purpose of all these things? Are we really just a pawn in God's chess game? If he created us to be with him, then why do we have to go through the trials of life? I asked my husband about it the next day. He didn't agree with me, that we are pawns. I guess we aren't, I mean we do have free choice. But sometimes I think that God nudges us a little to see how we will react.

Most of the time I think that I react OK, but other times.... Lately there are things happening that are totally out of my control. Mom is in a nursing home which is not making me happy, but she can't be left alone. One of my daughters is out of my life, which includes her husband and 3 of my grandchildren. I miss them so much. The way the country is turning is frightening. Living week to week wondering what's around the corner. None of my grandchildren live near me, which I won't even get into. But I have this. A long time ago God gave me a vision. I was floating in a bubble over the earth. This wasn't a dream, I was wide awake. I saw complete devastation and destruction everywhere. But my family, all of them, were in that bubble with me. Everytime I get down, I remember that we are in a bubble and God is protecting us. No matter what is happening around us, we are safe. This give me peace beyond anything you could imagine.

So, I'll just hang out a while and see what happens. Whether in reality or in the twilight zone, He's got us covered.